Marvel, 2012 and the End of the World
Actors Assemble!
As X-Men Origins: Wolverine is looking to be possibly the most flacid of the X-Films thus far (and I’m going strictly on critic reviews, as I’ve not yet seen it), Marvel Studios is going to need some big-time blockbusters to resuscitate its movie product. With a total box office gross of $582, 030, 528, some $98.6 million of which on opening weekend, Iron Man was the last home run for the company. Punisher: War Zone pulled in meager $10, 086, 898 in its three weeks in theaters, and is still in plentiful abundance on the shelves of your local retail giants. Wolvie’s raged with a solid $35 million on opening day Friday, but I doubt it’ll catch up to the pace set by Tony Stark and his pals. I found all this delicious box office info from www.boxofficemojo.com, by the way.
So, what terrifies me about Wolverine’s solo flick? Well, from what I’ve read in various online reviews, Sabretooth/Victor is portrayed as Wolverine’s brother, which isn’t accurate with Marvel storyline. This fact might have be confused with the Dog character in the Wolverine: Origin graphic novel, but this would leave Wolvie and Tooth as half-brothers at best. And they certainly wouldn’t have grown up together as portrayed in the film. Of course, using movie storytelling license allows for some wiggle room with storylines, and this wouldn’t be a horrible bending of the origin story. Nothing that would infuriate geeks like myself anyway.
I’m kinda worried about the inclusion of Gambit and Deadpool, especially since I don’t think any actor, save Robin Williams, can pull-off the rapidfire pop-culture banter that Deadpool streamlines in the comic books. From the clues I’ve seen about Deadpool, including pretty-boy Ryan Reynolds’ quickshots during previews (no disfigurement), the Deadpool movie action figure (disfigurement, but looks like some kind of creature), and reports from the Internet Movie Database citing his characterization as different from that of the comic books (no breaking the fourth wall, no pop culture references, no insanity), I don’t think I’m going to like the movie Wade Wilson. That’s more than enough to piss off comic book geeks, by the way.
Gambit, as portrayed by Taylor Kitsch, looks and acts the part, apparently, but why are they bringing him in? Unless this movie is going to have tons of Mr.Sinister/Marauder overtones, Gambit really has no relevant place in the storyline. The only reason I can see Fox Studios bringing in Gambit is simply because he’s Gambit and the people have been waiting for his character introduction.
This is where I have a problem. X-Men: The Last Stand left the movie franchise in a perfect position to do a series of things: phase in the X-Men as led by a mohawked Storm; introduce Magneto as headmaster of the school with the absense of Charles Xavier; have Rogue go rogue when the mutant gene cure wears off, allowing her to join the scorned Mystique and her Brotherhood where she absorbs Ms. Marvel’s mojo and gains her powers; work in the convoluted Madelyne Pryor/Jean Grey/Phoenix storyline, thus resurrecting both Jean and Cyclops; introduce Mr. Sinister, the Morlocks, and Gambit, thus bringing back Sabretooth, and running the Marauders Massacre storyline…which would also allow them to introduce Thor to perpetuate the Avengers movie, slated for 2012.
Coulda, woulda, shoulda. Instead, we get Gambit now for reasons unknown, so far, to me. Whatever.
Ok, everybody’s talking about Wolverine, so I’m not gonna anymore. It’s just frustrating. Let’s focus on the next series of flicks that will begin with the May 2010 release of Iron Man 2. Other than the switch-a-roo of Terence Howard for Don Cheadle as Tony Stark’s BFF James “Rhodey” Rhodes, theaters across America and the rest of the world will be filled with dude squeals and wet seats if/when War Machine is unveiled and kicks his first ass. With the exception of Mandarin, I’m not sure who else Iron Man could take on as his primary villain, but I have high hopes for the film. Let’s all hope and pray to Odin that Marvel doesn’t drop the ball on this one.
Almost exactly one year later, we get Spider-Man 4. I was more disappointed with Spider-Man 3 than I was with Ghost Rider, simply because I expected great things from the Webhead, and his arch-nemesis, Venom. Instead, I got about 10 minutes of a badly done Venom, horrible casting, an emo Peter Parker, and way too much crying (watch the movie and do the math, every major character sheds tears at one point). What’s worse, they killed off Venom and Eddie Brock without exploring the depth of that character. We didn’t even get to hear Venom refer to itself in the plural sense, which is always good for a spine chill.
In the fourth addition of this franchise, Spidey will more than likely take on Lizard. I don’t think I’m alone when I say, “Oh, please don’t let that be it!” Lizard’s fine, but he’s kind of like Scarecrow in the Dark Knight movie series, in which he’s more of a secondary villain that’s fun to see in action. If they can use some movie magic to bring back Venom, or use that lil wee bit o’ alien symbiote to spawn some Carnage, that would be a good way to save the struggling franchise. Bottom line: Spider-Man has to pull-off something huge with his fourth, or he might not even get a cameo for the big multi-hero Avengers flick, if he’s even being considered for it now.
June and July of 2011 will give us Thor and The First Avenger: Captain America, respectively. I’m curious to see how the movie gods approach these flicks. Of the two, I see Thor has having the best chance to be a flop. It will be hard to do this in a fashion unlike the famed Conan series, and it will be real tough developing dialogue that is less corny than the entire Midwest (or less corny than that joke). It will also be interesting to see which evolution of the Asgardian prince they go with: be it the clean cut, winged helmet Thor; the bearded roughneck Thor from the late 80s; Ultimate Thor, which sucked; or just some guy swingin a hammer. I’m hoping for Thor from the 80s, if only for the sake of nostalgia.
Captain America has every chance to be friggin sweet, so let’s hope they don’t blow it by making a casting dud. Honestly, that’s probably the easiest way to blow this flick, because the story’s just so iron clad good. I gotta imagine most of the movie will be a flashback or a series of historical events, kind of like how the Wolverine movie is set up. This is a difficult tool to employ, because flashbacks are just so flimsy in any sort of fiction, be it movie or print.
Unless, of course, the move is The Notebook, which effected flashbacks with the present in a flawless fashion. Yes, I enjoyed that movie. No, I didn’t cry, but I came damn close.
This will all ultimately round out to the May 2012 relase of the Avengers movie, which will bring Iron Man, Captain America, Nick Fury and who knows who else to the table for a very expensive film endeavor. I’ve never known another company to use movies to build up to one big movie, and I’d love to see just how much this whole process is going to cost Marvel. I’d love to get inside the heads of the company execs and just gnaw away at what plans they have for this epic. It has all potential to be friggin huge, and it will be heavily scrutinized not only be movie critics, but the toughest critics in the world: comic book geeks. Failure would bring absurd amounts of scorn from many different directions, but success would reap praise, adulation and liquid wealth from around the world. If done right, no matter how much the movie costs, it will pay for itself many times over.
Which brings me to my final thought. Will the world end before this movie can be released? All the 2012 conspiracy theorists out there say that life, as we know it, will cease to exist on that year. Should 2012 bring Armageddon, I’m sure that an Avengers movie will be the last thing on my mind as my mind, body and soul are erased from existance by some incredible firestorm that I’ll watch, sitting naked atop the highest building in Youngstown with a cooler full of Yuengling Lager, a bag of pot and my guitar. But as the blood red sky rains fire upon the world during humanity’s death rattle, in the back of my mind I’ll still be wondering “who played Red Skull, and was his skull CGI or latex?”
